Sometimes it seems that when potential clients call me, they might not have anything else decided about their wedding, but they know who they want to stand up next to them and represent the bridal party. It is amazing to me that this decision was made before almost anything else wedding related. Then when the wedding rolls around and it is time for help, support and responsibilities to shine through from your bridal party, there is always that one bridal party member that proves to be difficult, doesn't show up on time, doesn't show up period, or causes problems.

Ask yourself these questions:

1.  “Can they financially afford to be in the wedding?”

There are a lot of costs that go into being a bridesmaid: Bridesmaid Dress, Hair, Makeup, Bridal Shower, Bachelorette Party, Wedding Gift, and Hotel costs.Same for the guys.(minus the hair and makeup..unless they are like my husband that spends copious amounts on good hair gel!)

2. “Have they been an active and supportive member of my life?” 

I don't mean in the past year, I mean for a long time. Family and friends are always those we go to in a time of need, celebration and want. You need to be able to picture and know that these people will be in your life for many years to come afterwards. After all, who else will you talk about the day you got married to, on your 30 year anniversary?

3. “Are they reliable, responsible, and trustworthy?”

I cannot tell you how many times I have witnessed a bridesmaid/groomsmen not showing up for the rehearsal, showing up to the wedding hung over and unable to perform their duties, or even the ones that love to bring drama and attention to themselves on the day that the attention should be on you.

4. “How many is too many?”

You are allowed to have as little or as many bridesmaids as you want, but you don’t want half of your wedding guests standing up with you during the ceremony!  Of course, this all depends on your religion, culture, and preference, but if your wedding guest count is 50 people, you don't want 15 of those guests standing with you as your bridal party. Weddings these days don't have any or just one maid/matron and one best man and no more. Keep it simple! Let your family and friends enjoy the day with you, not running around taking pictures, tending a guest book, and helping guests finds seats. Let the wedding planner and their team do it!

TIP: Do not ask someone just because you do not want to hurt their feelings. If they are a true friend or family member, they will understand if they are not asked. You can always incorporate them in other elements of the wedding.

5. “How much can I afford?”

The people that are you are asking to support you and stand with you on your wedding day, deserve a gift of gratitude. This is not an area where you can skimp or skip period!

 

 

Pictures by Allison Reisz