So, I posted a blog earlier in the week on all of the glorious gowns we saw last Sunday at the Golden Globes, but today I thought I would review the uglier side of the red carpet...or as I like to call it the fun side!!!! Celebrities are great to look to for fashion advice, but sometimes it’s also good to learn by mistakes. Here are my top 5 no-nos and how to avoid them.

    5) Chloe Sevigny in Valentino. Now here’s the thing, I don’t hate this dress, in fact, if it was a bit less ruffly around the mid section, I might even love this, but alas, it looks a hot mess. The gown is truly “wearing her.” She’s a weird one for sure, but if you see at a Big Love premiere event, she looks smoking hot in a bright orange number. Her hair and makeup are fresh, but not overdone...unlike the globes where it looks like hair and makeup were an afterthought. So, think about your wedding day ensemble and if it’s not perfect don’t be afraid to belt the waist or have it tailored differently than it was meant to.

4) Julianne Moore in Balenciaga. Here is a perfect example of a runway gown not translating to the red carpet. On a 7 foot tall 98 pound model I bit this outfit looked HOOOTTTT. But on Moore it looks more like a statement of fashion than a pretty dress. She has absolutely no shape. But if you look at the unbelievable YSL gown she wore to the ‘03 Oscars, it’s like night and day. The silhouette is stunning on her curves and she looks sexy...not like she is hiding a beer gut. So, as tempting as it is to be trendy, if the trend involves making you appear shapeless, skip it.

3) Liona Lewis in some ugly prom dress. I have say that this woman is the most terribly dressed woman in Hollywood. She has a knack for wearing very ill fitting clothes, this monstrosity is a perfect example...her boobs, hips, waist all blend together into one wonky mess. She also never seams to be able to get her outfit, accessories, and hair and makeup to match. So, if you are having a beach wedding a tight formal chignon is probably not the right way to go. Unfortunately, I have no good pictures of Leona, she is a beautiful girl who can saaaaaang, but she can’t dress to save her life, she should hire me. Avoid, everything she wears :)

2) Heidi Klum in Roberto Cavalli. Now Heidi Klum reaches outside of the fashion norm quite a bit and for that she should be commended. I usually give her props for her style, even if I don’t like the gown, but this Barbie meets Miss Texas look is unforgivable. How could such a beautiful women look so silly? It was raining, so we won’t deduct full marks for the super flat hair, which should’ve just gone up...but this dress. How do you make Heidi Klum look lumpy? This terrifying dress! Think? If Heidi can’t pull this dress off, then what normal woman could??? Here are some perfect examples of how fashion forward can be fabulous! She wore the silver Armani Prive to the Emmy’s and the red John Galliano to the Oscars. She was wearing these original pieces of art and doing it in such a sophisticated way. So, flattering and fashion forward equals good. Barbie equals bad. got it. good. Also, don’t fight the elements, if you know that your hair is going to go crazy flat wear it up. I got married in Savannah in the dead of summer and my giant Italian hair was out of control...I didn’t fight it, curly and up. Done.

1) Christian Hendricks in Christian Siriano. Wow, wow, wow. This mama has some out of control knockers and she is stunning. This gown does nothing for her, absolutely nothing. I mean, I appreciate how little her waist is and little it looks with all of the cinching, but that growth coming out of her hip is just ghastly. She looks fat! She isn’t fat! She’s sexy, curvy, and surprisingly tiny...so to wear a gown that makes her look anything but is just...NO! Plus, the color is not good...well I mean if it was 1993...maybe, not to mention that she looks Casper pale because the color has so much pink in it her skin looks dull. Even, her hair looks sad. The fabric choice also gives me the stink eye...cheap is the only word that comes to mind. Let’s recall the glory that was “the green gown” more specifically the Tadashi she wore to the Emmys. I mean, gasp! Perfection. She glows, her boobs look amazing, but the cinching around the waist and the seam down the middle just emphasizes her truly tiny waist. The slit is sexy...but not too high. I love the gold strappy sandals that make her look as though her legs go on for miles. She looks like a fairy. So big note, especially if you are a curvy girl, don’t pile on unnecessary ruffles and details! Simply showing off your curves is enough.

So, I think the moral of the story is don’t be tacky, make sure that you are flattering your body, and don’t let trends wear you! You are in control of what you wear, so just make sure that you are doing your body proud. And I think I said this before...don’t be tacky.

So until we meet again, stay bridal and please don’t look a hot mess on your wedding day...I will make fun you behind your back...sorry, I have no soul.

Lauren