Q. Morgan, I have been told by my photographer that we should considering seeing each other before the wedding. But I am somewhat traditional and don't know if I like the idea of ruining that first moment as I walk down the aisle. What is your take on it and what are the pros and cons of each?—Tonya

A.Tonya, I am for the first look! But this is ultimately up to the couple. However, before you make your decision, let me explain why I am PRO-First look!

Logistically here are some pros:

• More time for you both to enjoy your cocktail hour after the ceremony, as you aren't rushing off to take an hour worth of pictures.
• Guests aren't waiting for your arrival for too long. If guests wait longer than 45-1 hour, then it is almost considered rude and inconsiderate. They are there to see you….there is no need to keep them waiting that long.
• Breaking the tension and ice before. This can easily calm nerves and allow for better pictures in general!
• More one on one pictures. You don't want to get caught in the photography game of making sure your great Aunt Betty has a picture with you guys and cut down on your time to take pictures as a couple and only a couple.
  • I say this to all of my couples all the time: I feel that the pictures you two take together are some of the most important aspects of your wedding. I loved my wedding photographer but we have only a few pictures of Tim and I together due too much going on and lack of time. It is one of my biggest regrets at my wedding that we didn't do more or have this moment. (that is a different blog post for a different day!)
• THE BEST pictures: Let me explain and I am sure my photographer friends would agree:

There is this moment when it is just the two of you…no one else……(no priest, no guests looking at you, no bridesmaids or groomsmen laughing or nudging him as you walk down the aisle to him) that happens. It is magical and the moment ccan only be caught in its entirety in a first look. Of course this moment will happen when you walk down the aisle but it is MUCH harder to capture in its entirety and the moment is shorter lived because you are now entering the moment of the actual wedding. And while you might be able to exchange a few words under breath, it doesn't get to come full circle until after the wedding ceremony and you have a private moment. But not…it is almost now a different moment. The moment of “sharing together for the first time as husband and wife”.

Logistically here are some Cons:

• You would need to scheduled your appointments for hair and makeup a little earlier
• Your photographer would probably need to start earlier so it could mean more hours essentially if you want them to go to the end of the night.
• You would need about 30 minutes for the first look so that means you might want to schedule to touch up makeup/hair afterwards if the weather is a bit sticky outside!
• You are now alternating the first time you see each other from when you walk down the aisle to now and some parents might have a issue with this non-traditional concept. 

I would most definitely opt for the more intimate and lasting moment when the two of you see each other and only each other for the first time in a first look. Trust me you wont regret it and you wedding will mean just as much as you thought it would (pending you dint didn't do this) to you both and there will still be those butterflies the minute you begin you walk down the aisle towards him. I PROMISE!