Friday, February 5, 2010

How to Deal with the Difficult Bridesmaid

Green Bridesmaid Dresses 

So, I thought I would take a brief break from fashion. GASP. I know, but after speaking to one of my dear friends and bridesmaids, Erika, I was inspired to write about dealing with your friends around your happy/stressful time. First, let me say...I’m not an expert in dealing with stress, I am a true emotional spaz, but let me say I didn’t flip out or go all bridezilla for a single second after arriving in Savannah for my wedding. I let it all roll off of me, I was there to have the best weekend of my life and marry my best, when my brother gave me a piggyback ride and nearly threw me onto the cobblestone sidewalk...I just made sure I was unscathed and took a deep breath. When the hotel didn’t have my room ready on my wedding day, I ended up having a great time hiding in the lobby from my hubby as he tried to leave the hotel with his groomsmen. Hell, when the DJ announced us again after we had changed clothes and welcomed back “Joey and Lauren” husband’s name is Brian...I calmly looked at Morgan’s assistant and said, “Uh, who’s Joey...let’s do that again.” So, there are so many things that pop up and trust me I could list a few more, but I could also list how I just shrugged my shoulders and said, “c’est la vie.”


I was  mostly inspired to write this because when I asked Erika what to blog about she said, “difficult bridesmaids who insist on wearing pants in your wedding.” I laughed and went with it. Erika did indeed refuse to wear a dress and you know what, at first I was pissed I was like...”this is my wedding sister, you do what I say,” but then I trusted her because she was incredibly stylish and always wonderfully dressed. So, I let it go and guess what she looked amazing!!!! She really rounded out my group of girls! So, when it comes to the little things I say trust your friends to make good decisions.


I was lucky because I had the greatest group of girls around me, but we all know someone who has had the dreaded absentee Maid of Honor/Bridesmaid. Well, here’s the thing, when you are are tempted by family/friends to do your best not to offend anyone...I’m not saying that you can just loose your mind every time that something doesn’t go your way, but if a MOH or BM is constantly backing out of scheduled events, not taking the little things seriously then a conversation becomes necessary.  You should sit down with this friend and let them know that you are hurt. That the last thing you want is to sound pushy or overbearing, but you don’t feel like they are taking this seriously. Now, if they get defensive let them talk it out, but just calmly insist that you are just expressing your feelings and just want them to be aware. Now if you don’t see a drastic change in their behavior, you have my permission to replace...that’s right replace. There is no need to have that kind of bollocks in your life. I’m serious!!!

Now, I’m not sure what’s worse the non-existent girl or the know-it-all, snotty, opinionated girl. While working at the bridal salon, this was my biggest pet peeve, I just wanted to slap these brides and say, “why are you friends with this girl?” Here’s the thing, you know your friends, you know the ones who borderlines snarky, let them skip out on the dress search or any planning. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, it’s not that you are leaving them out, make shopping a family thing or just invite your one fashionista friend. Have snotty bridesmaid come to a fitting after you purchase the dress, what is she gonna say then? She’s going to smile and tell you how beautiful you are. Let her plan a shower, so that she can’t have anything negative to say because if it’s bad it’s her fault ;) And once again, if this person becomes too difficult to deal with let them go. Anyone that causes you stress during your already stressful time is just toxic.

So, I’m not sure if this is even helpful, but I just want you to know that surrounding yourself with difficult people is a just a bad way to start planning your wedding. I feel like brides choose every person they have ever known to be in their wedding, you should never regret having someone in your wedding! Pick the people that you love and that you know will do anything for you. And remember to breathe and let the day soak in!!! Don’t stress!!!!

Until we meet again, stay bridal and keep the crazies out of bridal party.


Photos by Geoff L Johnson Tags: Bridesmaid Etiquette,Difficult Bridesmaid,Bridal party,How to pick your bridal party,Savannah Wedding,Savannah Wedding Planner,Replace bridesmaid
43 Things Tags: Bridesmaid Etiquette,Difficult Bridesmaid,Bridal party,How to pick your bridal party,Savannah Wedding,Savannah Wedding Planner,Replace bridesmaid