The guest list... Oh dear, the guest list. The cause of much anguish and strife. The cause of many arguments. It’s not always fun narrowing down your friends and family to fit your budget or your reception space. While it’s not always fun, it is a very necessary part of planning your wedding... Last I checked you sorta need guests for the wedding. Here are a few pointers on how to compile the perfect guest list.
Who Chooses the Guest List?
First, it’s important to think of the number. The total number of guests you can afford. Second, who’s paying?? If parents are paying then they will get a say in who gets invited. Sorry. Try and remember balance in all things. ALL THINGS. I think it’s fair to give both sets of parents a certain number of guests and perhaps a few more slots to the paying parents side. If you are paying for the wedding yourself, you should still offer the parents a number of slots to invite whom they wish. At the end of the day it’s your wedding, but try and show your parents some respect.
Who to Cut?
You never want to cut people, but I feel it’s best to start with the people you are least connected with your co-workers, acquaintances, and distant relatives. Great Aunt Ruth twice removed who your mom hasn’t talked to in 10 years should probably be among the first to get cut. And if you really have to get down to it, eliminate your old high school and college buddies, unless you still see them on a regular basis that’s a large group to cut. So it’s no fun, but it has to be done... yeah, that rhymed...
Now, if you are really crunching the numbers you can definitely eliminate the “plus 1” without breaking any etiquette laws. Friends in very serious relationships, engaged, or living with their significant other should definitely have their guest invited even if you don’t know them. I think it’s tacky not to invite them.
Kids or No kids?
This one is tough because you get a lot of people who will make gripes about their child not being invited, but c’est la vie. Kids still count towards the final head count. I think it’s best to choose an age 10 and up, 15 and up, 18 and up, etc. If you have a flower girl or ring bearer they should be invited to the wedding. You can also decide if you will only have immediate families children invited.
There are no set of rules out there telling you who you should invite. Keep your guest list personal and happy!! You want to be surrounded by your closest and dearest friends and family. Be open and communicate!!