Thursday, July 21, 2011

Let’s not be Tacky...

never-guess-wedding-ecard-someecards As most of you know I don’t care much for wedding etiquette... I think most of it is antiquated and plain old silly, but there is something that I am a firm believer in... and that’s NOT blabbering constantly about where you are registered... And even furthermore, putting anything in your invitation that suggests where you are registered is just beyond tacky!!!! I think that sometimes people do it thinking they are making life easier for their guests, but I think it can easily be misconstrued as only being concerned with gifts and that is just so not-fabulous. When doing research on the post I found that most people agree with me... but just in case you don’t believe me...

The’s Q&A states, “ information should be included with your wedding invitations. Tell your wedding party, parents, and close friends where you are registered, and let them fill guests in. Guests know that they are supposed to ask your mom, your maid of honor, or even you where you're registered. Putting it in the invite is still considered bad form because it suggests that the gift is more important than the potential guest.”

Peggy Post, an expert on etiquette says, “Gift registry information should never be included in a wedding invitation. Tradition still holds that the practice of including lists of gift registries with wedding invitations is considered tacky and inappropriate. Why? It puts more emphasis on the gift and less on the request that the recipient join you on your special day. Gift registries are wonderful tools. But get the word out the old-fashioned way: word of mouth (and don't email gift registry information, even if you're listed on a registry Web site). For shower invitations, however, it's okay to include wedding gift registry information -- a list of stores, mail-order catalogs, or Internet addresses -- on the invitation if the hostess prefers.”

Kristen Klett over at is also on my side saying, “While we like to consider ourselves modern gals, there are some new trends that we just can’t get behind.  The practice of including registry or other gift preferences on one’s wedding invitation is still a big ‘no-no’ in our book.“Now come on!” you might say.  “Everyone knows that you’re supposed to give gifts at a wedding and aren’t we making things easier on our guests by providing them with our registry information?”Nope.  No way.  Even on occasions where gifts are appreciated, or even expected, in our opinion it’s just plain tacky to imply that you require a guest to bring a gift as “admission” to your celebration.  Weddings are an excellent example of “expected” gift-giving occasions.  And while we certainly appreciate and take advantage of the convenience of gift registries, etiquette dictates that references to our gift preferences must be carefully chosen and discreet.

So, yes. I hate to break it to you... I’m right. If you are having a shower, those in charge of throwing in are more than welcome to list the stores you are registered at to get the word out. If you have a wedding website, make a page devoted to pointing your friends and family to your registered stores... Just avoid putting that information in your invitations... I know how old school wedding etiquette has become, but this is just one rule I like to see followed.